Dear Potiential Date

Dear Potential Date,

You’ve been attracted by a vivacious brunette. You’ve been allured by her laughter, amused by her corny humor and enlightened by her wealth of knowledge. You’ve decided that instead of creeping on her, you would like to ask her out in an effort to discover what makes her who she is. Well…as much as this delights her heart. She’d like to give you a few pointers.

There are a few deal breakers for this gal:

Do you smoke? Do you consume more than 4 alcoholic beverages a night? Do you use any illegal drugs? Are you currently jobless? If you have said no to these please proceed. IF you answered yes, Buh Bye..stop do not proceed, do not pass go, do not pursue me, do no ask me out.

Now, a few tips for those of you who have made it to round two :)

For the initial date, please do not show up to pick me up in sweaty workout clothes, sweat and body odor. While I find guys that work out attractive, I am not attracted to that look when I am standing in a dress ready to go to dinner. (Have I mentioned it takes a good 45mts to make this unruly mop of hair look good?) SO don’t waste my time.

Secondly, if you ask a girl out you need to plan ample time to gas up your car, clean out a place for her to sit and dispose of trash that would be beneath her feet otherwise.

Thirdly, check your wallet. There should be enough cash or a debit card to cover dinner. Do not ask me to pay for my dinner on the first date. I find it rude and insulting.

Fourth, please inform your mother that you will be out to dinner and indisposed from _pm-__pm. I love that she loves you and you love her, but she can spare talking to you for the two hours that you are talking to me. (Family emergencies belay this rule.)

Fifth, have a plan! You don’t go on a camping trip without planning your campsite, hiking route and route to get there. A date should be no different. Have a Plan A and a Plan B. Now, once we have been dating for a while it is perfectly fine for you to let me pick things and plan things. But for a while, I’d like to see how serious you are about pursuing my heart. Don’t get lazy!

Sixth, enjoy me :) I’m a pretty complicated little onion. There are a lot of layers here for you to explore. So stick around a see what you can discover.. (BTW..I’m prob just as nervous as you on this date so it might take two or three for it to be not awkward..)

Sincerely,

~Lemon~

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