Best Birthday Weekend ~ Part 3

Hey Lovelies!

Can I just say that I don’t think I could have crammed another thing into my birthday weekend :) I’ve never done a whole weekend for myself before. It was really neat to actually do what I wanted to do for a whole weekend and not feel bad about it.

I had given RJ 2 tickets to the Carolina game at the Cup on Saturday. It was my congrats you survived another block gift :) He works so hard in school and doesn’t get a lot of time off. I really wanted him to enjoy his week off. We’re both Carolina baseball fans and I knew that he’d only been able to catch one or two games so far this season.

He asked me to tag along with him and I was more than happy to oblige.

I went to church Sunday morning. I can’t tell you how much this new church is blessing me! Y’all know I’ve been struggling the past few months with whether or not I was where God wanted me to be. I can tell you after attending this church for 4 weeks that it is indeed where I am supposed to be. I finally have a peace in my heart. We had a great Sunday school lesson. Ryan’s been going over God’s Challenge for your 20’s. I came in on week 5 of 9 so I’ve got to get the other weeks and catch up. It’s so awesome to be hanging out with other 20 somethings who are going through the same battles and struggles I am. They have made me feel more welcomed and included than I’ve ever felt at a church. I get up on Sunday excited because it’s church day. That hasn’t happened in a long, long time.

After church, I met RJ at Starbucks..we’re slightly addicted to Starbucks. I changed clothes super fast..yes it can be done! Then we were off to Columbia to watch the Gamecocks take on the Tennessee Vols.

It was a gorgeous day, so RJ opened the sunroof up and we enjoyed the sunshine.

It was a struggle to stay awake on the way :) RJ drives a BMW and it rides smoother than a Cadillac in my opinion. We both have quite diverse taste in music so we took turns choosing. I must say he was a trooper to humor my country music. He typically prefers rap. He gave me a rap education..and I discovered that I actually like rap! I guess when it’s not blaring into your ears and thumping under your rump (the only way my brother plays it) it’s actually alright.

I had been raving about eating at D’s in Columbia. Since I won the bet at the Carolina Cup, we decided we’d go there. BUT! Much to my dismay..D’s was closed. So we headed to a Chinese restaurant up the street. Lunch was so much fun. It was great to be able to catch up and hangout one-on-one. The Chinese restaurant is across the street from the stadium so we got to people watch a little bit before it was time to head into the stadium.

We got into the stadium a little early so we walked around and enjoyed the batting practice. I’m fortunate to split season tickets with one of my friends so I have the same seats each game. We settled into our seats and I crossed my fingers that there wouldn’t be any screaming children behind me. It was a really fun game! USC led the entire game and we didn’t switch pitchers until well into the 7th inning. Poor Tennessee didn’t score a single run..unlike Saturday’s game where USC barely beat them 9-6.

It was a little sunny and we might have forgotten to put sunscreen on. Thankfully RJ blocked most of the sun for me :) His poor face was a little pink when we left the game and needless to say by the time we got back home it was really red. (I felt super bad! I had sunscreen in my pocketbook the whole time.)

On the way home he introduced me to Juicy J and quite a variety of other rap artists. I introduced him to a few of my favorite songs..what does the fox say, I wanna marry my stalker and Everlast. It was fun! We talked and laughed. I think it’s probably one of the most fun weekends I’ve had in a long time.

We decided to stop for ice cream. Okay, I kind of asked if we could because I really, really wanted some chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream (which I found out was RJ’s fav!). Needless to say, he was sweet enough to humor my random whim and we ended up at Sweet Frog. I introduced him to strawberry poppers. They are in my opinion the most amazing thing to put with froyo. Sadly, Sweet Frog no longer has my chocolate covered sunflower seeds, rice cakes or mango poppers. I was really disappointed. But my orchard cherry and NY cheesecake froyo was still good without them :) It was the perfect ending to a perfect day!

My sunburn is pretty mild compared to RJ’s. Just my right cheekbone is burnt :) But nothing a little makeup magic couldn’t cover. (Thank you stage makeup class!)

So my lovelies, I’m officially a year older and you know what? I’m perfectly okay with that!

Here’s to hoping this year is as amazing as this weekend was!


One Really Happy Lemon


Isn’t it wonderful..

Isn’t it wonderful when someone shares something or says something that blesses you when you’re having a crappy morning?

I’ve really struggled this weekend. It seems like I’m surrounded by a million people but I’ve never felt so alone. I feel gray and heart is sad, I feel as if loneliness has seeped into the depths of my soul and I can’t shake it.

I had my feelings hurt quite badly this weekend. Usually I’m pretty good at shaking it but not this seems like one hurt after another occurred until all I want to do is sit on the back steps with my cup of tea and have a good cry (which I did this morning).

My heart just hurts..a guy that I thought was interested sent me a message Saturday saying: “You do realize we’re just friends right?” Bam..sooo friend zoned again..and I’m sad about it. There aren’t too many guys on this planet that I feel comfortable around. I’ve endured some traumatic encounters and it hinders my ability to trust men. It’s something that I have to constantly work on everyday. I have to choose not to let that fear reign. I’ve been to counseling and spent a year of my life getting over some intense anxiety because of it.

It’s so hard though. Because for the first time in a long time I trust a guy. He’s the only guy that doesn’t scare me, doesn’t push things, doesn’t intimidate me and I cherish that. As a girl sometimes I think I over think things and perhaps somewhere along the lines I misinterpreted “friendliness” for interest? I’m not exactly sure what happened but I suppose I’ve gotten the wrong idea about his heart’s interest. So I’ve been curled up this weekend trying not to over think it. He’s my best guy friend and I don’t want to lose that.

But my lonely little heart is so sad. I’ve been surrounded by all these happy people and I’m trying to be happy with them but it’s just not working. I’ve been following my holiday anti-blues plan and even that’s not working..

I spent Saturday night babysitting 6 precious little boys. They are my best buddies..and I want one of my own. There I said it..for the girl who pretends to be Miss Queen of Independence she secretly longs for a husband and a family and dog of her own. The boys are always asking me questions a mile a minute while I’m with them. They were asking me about my friends and what we’d been up to. I had told them a little bit about going to the Christmas party and getting dressed up. (They secretely LOVE princesses.) Neels asked me that if C was my very best-est friend..was I going to marry him? I love how these precious little boys discern my heart’s desire without me even knowing it. I spent three hours that night holding one precious teething baby and all I wanted to do was cry my little heart out. I’m so lonely. I love spending time with my 6 boys. It fills this tiny ok huge gaping hole in my heart for just a little bit. As I sang Lief to sleep, I thought how precious it must be to be responsible for such a wonderful blessing. Lief was only quiet when his head rested over my heart. For a few minutes we were breathing in perfect harmony.

Sunday, I had to run to a shower for my future cousin to be. Nothing like getting asked 16 times when you’re going to get married when you don’t even have a boyfriend. It’s sooo hard to smile and be happy when you’re so obviously aware of your singleness. Later that night, I went to church to see the children perform their Christmas program. I was supposed to meet up with my friend but she bailed. Needless to say, I was the only one in the entire church there by themselves. You’ve no idea how awkward it felt to know that I’m the only one siting there without family. I enjoyed watching the children perform but that little blanket of loneliness seemed even heavier.

This morning it’s gray and fitting for how I feel on the inside. I was pretty down..and then my co-worker walked in with her usual bubbly self and said pull up this song. Wouldn’t you know it was exactly what I needed to hear? Funny how that happens isn’t it?

It’s a song by Jamie Grace called Beautiful Day.

The song says:

When trouble seems to rain on my dreams
It’s not a big, not a big deal
Let it wash all the bugs off my windshield
Cause You’re showing me in You I’m free
And You’re still the refuge
That I’ve just got to get to
So I won’t let a day go, won’t let a day go by
So put the drop top down, turn it up,
I’m ready to fly.

So I’ve just got to let go. He knows my dreams, He knows when my husband should come or if I’m to serve single, He knows..and I’m so guilty of forgetting that.

I’ve gotta believe and see. I’ve got to choose to trust in Him and not in me.



Dear Sunday

Dear Sunday,

Hello again old friend. I have a favor to ask of you today. Can you keep the blues away?

You see..

I’ve a shower to go to,

Giggles to make,

A story to hear,

A piece of cake to take.

But I’m a ball of fear,

As another baby shower looms near…

The doom and the gloom, they’re starting to bloom.

Once they blossom, it’s hard to find anything awesome.

So I ask you please, to save a damsel in need.

Can you make the day sunny and bright?

Chase gloom and doom into the night!

I need to be strong for there’s a baby boy coming along.

His mommy needs my moral support,

He will be the first! A little baby to break this single girl’s monotonous world.

But her fears come dashing in, threatening to rule her heart again.

It’s hard to be happy when I want to be sad. I want to be mad and mad and mad.

It seems unfair and cruel, that everyone is finding love in this chapter of life.

So dearest Sunday, will you do me that favor from this moment forth?

Chase gloom and doom, I shall be glad not mad :)



That’s a Wrap!

Well the craziness at work has come to an end and we move into a blissful summer schedule. Even though it means getting to work 30mts earlier and leaving later. {My snooze button never looked so good}

This weekend was a blast :) Mom and I headed down to the beach at the crack of dawn Sat to see one of her former students graduate! So cool to know that my mom has impacted such a beautiful young lady! Gabby is amazing! I was so proud of her. I did feel a bit old knowing that all these guys were seems like yesterday I was giving them rides to softball practice and home from school. She met the most wonderful boy during her time at college and I was thoroughly impressed with him! This was the first I got to meet Joe :)

We spent the day catching up with old friends and making new ones. I love being able to spend time with my mom :) We stay so busy that I don’t often get time to just talk with her. We wrapped up the day with a little shopping spree. What road trip to the beach is complete without one?

Key Largo Snap Hanger

Key Largo Snap Hanger

Sunday was Mother’s Day :) Thankfully my mom’s present made it just in time thanks to Lindsay Phillips! I bought my mom their new Key Largo Snap Hanger and she loved it!

I’m rather envious as my snap collection is about as large as my mom’s!

For those of you who aren’t familiar with Lindsay Phillips shoes they are amazing! One shoe a zillion different styles. All I do is change the snap to match whatever I’m wearing. I was skeptical at first and thought it was kind of dumb (just being honest!) until I bought a pair. I LOVE THEM! I don’t have to buy a new pair of shoes to match an outfit now. (I own snaps in almost every major color and they typically go with everything.)

If you’re an avid flip-flop or sandal wearer you should give them a try! They go on sale periodically on the website :) My favorite are the silver sparkle sandals.

We spent Sunday lunch at Grammy’s :) It makes me sad to think there will come a day when that won’t be an option anymore. Until then, I plan on going as often as I can. Life is too short not to enjoy my family.  Sunday afternoon was spent napping and shopping with my cousin :) My poor sister was so sick she didn’t get out of bed Sunday until 7pm. I couldn’t even bribe her out with food….that’s when you know they’re really sick.

To all the Mother’s out there :) You’re my heroes. You work 15 different jobs everyday. You love spaghetti noodle necklaces and drawings that make no sense. You are fearless and brave and tender and I can’t begin to tell you how amazing you are.

My friend Justin’s words always come back to my mind on this day. Justin’s mom walked out on him when he was 4 years old. She never spoke or saw him again. His dad remarried a few years later. As we stood at his high school graduation he looked at his (step) mom and this is what he said: “While you may not be my birth mother, You are the mother of my heart.” I thought my heart would melt. That is what I want! To be the mother of a precious heart. I hope that one day, I too will be a mother to a precious child. I hope that I am half as amazing as all of you! You inspire me to be great :) So to all you mammas :) YOU ARE AMAZING!

Much Love! ~Lemon