Whoop….there it is…

Hello My Lovelies!

Do you ever have a Fabulous Friday and then in a matter of thirty seconds it comes crashing down?

Amazing how that happens isn’t it? Well…it happened.

I was enjoying my half day off yesterday and looking forward to my date this weekend with Montana. We had planned to go to the Big Mo drive-in movie theatre to see Jungle Book and Captain America after I got off work Saturday.

It’s been such fun with him over the last six weeks and I was excited that I FINALLY seemed to have made it past the second date disaster zone that seems to be my struggle in life. We had the best date last weekend. He and Koda came and surprised me on Sunday and we had plans for this weekend.

I have been very careful about not getting too emotionally invested.  My sister is always telling me I fall too hard and too fast for people that I need to take some lessons from the Ice Queen. I guess that’s the artist emotional side of me…but I had been mindful to guard my emotions and my heart. This was the first week I allowed myself to be happy and get a little bit excited.

I was sitting on my couch yesterday afternoon watching Chicago PD (I’m slightly obsessed with the whole Chicago series…PD, MED, Fire…) and my phone went off. I knew by the ringtone it was Montana.

Excited, I picked up my phone expecting it to be about our date tomorrow….only to read this:

Hey, I need to tell you something. Billy (bar owner of Coates) introduced me to a gal earlier this week. Her and I kind of hit it off and I don’t know…something about it seemed like a pretty good connection. I hate to do this because I enjoy our time together. But I don’t want you waiting around for me and missing out on some other guy. I’m going to see where things go with her because I feel like I can see things further down the road with her. I don’t know how to explain it to make it sound any better. Just how I feel I guess. I’m really sorry….. :(

Yeah…not what I was expecting at all.

I replied: Thanks for letting me know.

A few minutes later, I got another text telling me he just didn’t feel right not saying anything at all. He then proceeded with the whole “You’re going to find an amazing guy who will love all of the fabulous things about you. I’m just sorry it wasn’t me…”

Ha…

I wasn’t devastated but it did hurt….I cried a little….It’s been a year since MB and I broke up (crazy how time flies huh?). I’ve been very selective about who I have gone on dates with since. I wasn’t looking to have my heart broken again, but I guess that’s the risk you take when you go on a date huh?

So I did what any girl would do…went shopping…then had a tearful moment after I checked out because all I was holding was a bag of cat food and toilet paper…

Thankfully my Berkley bestie was working the bar at Longhorn and I happened to have a Darden gift card thanks to my awesome momma. So I sat at the bar (my parents would be appalled), eating chicken tenders (sometimes you just have to say screw healthy food) and watching the Braves game. Told my story to the two hilarious ladies sitting beside me who were appalled that he had texted that and laughed with them about life for awhile. The man sitting on the other side of me with his wife overheard and told me before they left that it was pretty lame and sh*** for a guy to do that and that I was better off without him.

My other bestie was sweet enough to drive back to town to sit with me for awhile. She is the best! I am thankful for her listening ear and hugs and I’m glad we are kindred spirits.

So after the tears, the anger, the what-the-heck-is-wrong-with-me moment…I realized there is nothing wrong with me. Mind boggling….

I always tend to blame myself when things go wrong. But I can’t do that. I have to accept that just because he chose that ending for our story doesn’t mean that I messed the story up.

So I think it’s time I stop trying to take control of my love story and let God do His thing. It is the one area in my life that I struggle to give Him complete control. I want it to happen now. I love my single life. I love the things He allows me to do, but I want to share that with someone. I want to have my own family to come home to at the end of the day. I want the kind of love my grandparents shared for 55 years.

So thanks Montana for reminding me that what I want, wasn’t what I had.

XoXo!

One Sweatpants Wearing Lemon

 

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To All My Single Ladies….

Hello My Lovelies!

How are you my darlings? I’m better! I’ve dried my sniffles, thrown out the empty gelato containers and dusted my Cheetos covered booty off.  Whew. Breakups suck! Really…they do. I don’t know how you handle them but for me..it’s Netflix and running, chocolate and tea, and a whole lot of nose blowing.

I’m six weeks back into the land of “single” and not quite to the “singe and ready to mingle” stage. But as I’ve been entering back into my single lady life, I’ve been astonished at some things I’ve heard and seen. We live in a society that beats single girls up. My goodness..it’s like they think there is something wrong with us.

It seems like the older I get the more people begin to think of you differently if you’re not “in a relationship”. Why does our society alienate successful, independent single women? Why do they constantly make us feel inferior to the stay-at-home moms of the world?

Let me tell you a secret my dears….there is NOTHING wrong with you. Absolutely nothing. There is NOTHING wrong with being alone. And why should we settle for guys who lack emotional empathy, who don’t make us a priority, and who don’t have an ambition in life? We shouldn’t! And society can kiss grits. They shouldn’t negate our choice to wait for the guy who has 86 out of 86 qualities on our list. (Yes, I have a list…do you have a list?)

But there is a part of being single that gets me…. it’s single’s little friend loneliness. I’ve come to learn a few things during the last five weeks of life post-MB.

1 – Being “alone” does not equal loneliness.

Loneliness is a choice. It’s a state of mind and has nothing to do with the amount of people around you. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stood in a room, completely surrounded by people and felt entirely lonely. So often, I feel like I’m invisible. If you read my blog post at the beginning of the year you might remember that it was one of my goals this year to stop being invisible. (I’m so good at it though!! They should make me a spy or something…) But I’ve learned that if people around me don’t understand, appreciate, or love me – I might as well be alone. But don’t be hasty! Do not confuse a girl’s marital status with her ability to connect and spend time with people.

2 – There is something special about a girl who can enjoy the company of her self.

As women, we are often identified by our roles.

 

Don’t get me wrong. Being a sister, a daughter, a graphic designer, and a friend are all important roles. But, they should not define ME, because those roles can change at any time in my life. Spending time alone allows you the time to discover whom you are deep down inside, outside of the roles you hold.

This is sooooo important! Because let’s face it. As women, we carry weight. The weight of our families, the weight of our jobs, the weight of our children, we do work ladies!

As a happy healthy single woman, I’m not desperately seeking “a relationship”. Neither and I seeking the company of the first guy who approaches me. As healthy single girls, we understand that this is a valuable time of our life! I may soon not have time like this again. It’s a chapter we should relish and enjoy, instead of loathe.  Because let’s be real…you marry prince charming, you have his baby…and you lose the time you have to discover who you are and your alone time is condensed to those five minutes in the shower while praying the baby doesn’t wake up.  Our time become somewhat non-existent.

There are several reasons I envy married women, and there are several reasons I do not.

Would I love to be married someday? You better believe it! Do I see the joy and benefits of having a happy hubby to come home to at the end of the day? I do. But I also have been thrown head first into the deep end of the other side. I’ve seen the burdens women carry. I’ve seen the pain of a marriage dissolving. I’m willing to welcome the joy and the pain, but right now I’m in no hurry to rush it. Society can just get over their social “norms”.

There’s this misguided notion/misconception that single women do not like couples.

BONK! So false. The healthy happy single woman is not hunting for “your man” and we are not bitter that you have a man (okay the mast majority of us aren’t..there are a few..). It’s the same way that a married woman or a taken woman can be happy for others. Being single DOES NOT equate to being bitter. (Read about Ruth..she rocked being a single widow.)

Why do I love being single?  Solitude allows me the time to discover what my true values are, and see things at a deeper level. It helps me tap into the things that are really important in my life.

My goal as a single woman is to not getting caught up on the small things. I want to use this chapter of my life to the best of my ability. I’m just trying to be around positive people with good vibes :)

Overall, the truth of the matter is this: Single women are single because they want to be. Some may want the companionship of a man, but we are not settling. It does not mean we have unrealistic standards. It just means our time has not come yet. Does society ever judge the single “dudes”? Nope. They commend them for making it to 30 and not “settling” down. Humph…

So my lovelies! Don’t let society push you into believing the stereotypes and the misconceptions of being a single woman.

Instead, take this time, this chapter to get to know the people around you for who they are. Surround yourself with joyful people, and you my dear will be a joy to be around :)

 

So you’re trucking along in this single chapter, here’s a note of love. DO NOT…I repeat….DO NOT feel pressured to explain your relationship status to anyone. Honestly, it’s none of their business. Just enjoy this chapter. Enjoy time. There will come a time in your life when you won’t be able to dash out and grab coffee with your girls. If you decided you want to change your relationship status do so, but do it at your own pace. At the end of the day we have to be happy with our lives. So my lovelies, DO NOT feel guilty, pressured or ashamed. You are BEAUTIFUL!

Love,

One Happy Single Lemon

A Prestigious Affair

Well hello darlings :) I apologize for being so mum lately. I’ve had a lot going on and I always feel bad when I blog about my blue periods. I know they’re common with artists and creatives..but who really wants to read about the blaaah stuff?

I’m so excited! This week is my birthday week :) The perfect excuse for me to do whatever I want..okay I do that anyway..but that’s besides the point.

I’m a HUGE horse person. Probably the only one in my state who actually watches the Kentucky Derby. This year for my birthday I scored a parking space on the infield at the Carolina Cup in Camden, SC. It’s literally the social event of the season around here. There is this fabulous culture that goes along with it as well.

I’ve been prepping for two weeks and thought I’d share some of my ideas and things I’m making to take. My favorite fella will be home from med school on break and it didn’t take much asking to get him to agree to tag along! (SCORE!) I’m excited to see him :) I have seen him since he was home for Christmas break and we grabbed coffee. My cousin, Shelley, is also tagging along for the day!  I beat her into this world by 3 months and 7 days :)

The Food:

Last night I made pretzel chocolate chip cookie bars..oh my gracious y’all! They were sinfully delicious. I stumbled upon the recipe on Kelly’s blog, Just a Taste (click here for the recipe!). They are the perfect marriage of sweet, salty and crunchy. I put a layer of crushed pretzels in the bottom of my pan and spread the batter over it. Topped it off with some more crushed pretzels. I did forget to drizzle chocolate on the top though..whoops!

While they were filling my kitchen with a heavenly aroma, I attempted to make my first peeps bouquet. LOVE IT! So easy! All you need is a pack of skewers and a couple of packs of Peeps. I discovered that running the skewers under water helped them to slide through the Peep easier.

Tonight’s project, the tortellini skewers. Cheese tortellini tossed in Italian dressing, cubed Swiss cheese, salami, baby tomatoes and black olives. Pretty sure I can handle it :)

What does one wear to the cup? I’ve been researching what to wear (the dress code is dresses/hats for girls, bow ties/jackets/khakis for the boys. Here are the outfits I loved..

I love the history behind the cup :) For those of you who think it’s only about drunk college kids..nope. You’re wrong :) It’s a prestigious affair for most South Carolinian’s. The Carolina Cup has been in existence (to my knowledge) since at least 1932. That was the year that a brave little scrap of a horse would carry the pink and blue colors to victory. How befitting that his name was Trouble Maker :) It’s tradition for many families.

I am beyond excited! I went and picked up my hats today on my lunch break. I’m having a little trouble deciding which outfit to wear..so yes I have two hats.


There’s so much preparation work that goes into the Cup when you’re the parking space host..I’ve literally got three lists running right now. But! After it’s all said and done..I get to spend the weekend with my favorite guy, Shelley and what more could a girl ask for on her birthday? Oh..for her favorite horse to win the race!

XoXo!

One Floppy Hat Wearing Lemon

Dear Guys :)

Dear Guys,

You are making my heart smile. I love how my life goes from zero to four of you all in a month. I’m a little bit overwhelmed by it all. You’re all so wonderful it makes it hard to choose.

While we’ve been friends for a while, it seems as if your heart is beginning to pitter patter whenever I’m near. That’s exciting but a word of caution..my heart is such a precious little thing. She’s been a bit beaten and battered. It’s taken me almost 2 years to stitch her back together. Please be very careful with her.

I’m thrilled that you’re all in my life. You’ve awakened a part of my soul that’s been dead for a while. Your sweet words and kind actions have reminded me that I’m not the broken girl I used to be. I am lovely and incandescent and radiant. I’m thrilled you want to get to know me more.

Guy #1 ~ You make my heart smile with your crazy self. But as much as you’ve grown up and matured over the past year, you’re not in love with me darling. You’re in love with the idea of me. But I’m not a girl who’s going to date someone she has to “mother”..that’s why God gave you a mother. At 23, you should be responsible enough to keep your car clean and your classes straight. I think you’re going to be stuck in the friend-zone dear one until you figure that out.

Guy #2 ~ Oh you’re dashing! I love your sweet heart. It’s obvious you have a mother who taught you well. I can tell you cherish her by the way you’ve treated me. I’ve enjoyed our conversations. Can I just say how appealing it is to talk with someone you uses complete sentences and proper enunciation? Your southern charm, smile and chivalry have you well on the way to winning over this girl’s heart. I’m excited to see what will happen with you :)

Guy #3 ~ You make me forget what I’m trying to say..you’re so intimidating even though we’ve been friends for a long time now. I’ve relished our coffee dates and Snapchats. Yet I wonder, could you not find time to have an actual conversation while you’re away? But I’m happy to be a part of your med school life. I love your diligence! I wish I would have had half of it as an undergrad. I love that you encourage me to do things that scare me. You are so supportive of my dreams and so realistic about life. You’ve been cheering me up during this whole house buying fiasco and I am so thankful for it. I’m glad you’re going to be around this summer…maybe that will mean we get some slushy dates :)

Guy #4 ~ You drive me absolutely freaking nuts..the 20 million calls a week asking for something..the helpless I don’t know how to do that..I can’t decide whether I want to strangle you or hug you some days. But your sweet smile and kind heart make you endearing. But honestly, you’ve had 4 years to make a move out of the friend zone and haven’t. Darling..the only way you get out of the “friend” zone is to ask a girl out on a date. I won’t always be around forever..don’t miss your chance.

Cheers Darling’s!

Xoxo!

One Flabbergasted Lemon