High Five for Friday..not feeling it today..

It’s Friday..whew..I made it. This week has been a struggle my lovelies. I’ve had to apologize to multiple people for my attitude and rudeness. I’m tired, I’m stressed out, I’m broken..yep broken. I feel like I fell off of a cliff and smashed into the water.

These past six weeks of talking with James have been amazing..I was finally beginning to think that maybe..just maybe..I had finally stumbled upon a man who knew how to treat a lady. We’ve been on several dates now..Last weekend we went to dinner and I have never had more fun or been treated as nicely as I was that night. All week he had been excitedly talking to me and counting down the days until he got to see me. FYI: we live 2.5 hours apart. He picked me up, he opened the car door, he opened the restaurant door, he guided me with a hand on my lower back..all the little things that make my heart skip beats. I wore my favorite dress, I had on wedges (which he loved) and  he made me feel like I was the only girl in the room. He looked so dashing in his button down shirt and dark jeans.

Dinner was wonderful :) He took me to a quaint restaurant off the beaten path that only locals go to. It was once an old post office and is now a refurbished post office turned restaurant. He had made a reservation, we had a wonderful table..it was the stuff a girl dreams about. We ate dinner by candle light..and I must say it was probably the most romantic dinner date I’ve ever gone on in my life. We ordered our dinner and chatted the night away. After dinner, he said he wasn’t ready for the night to end so we simply drove around Charleston looking at the lights and talking. He dropped me off with a goodnight beautiful and a kiss.

Sunday morning I woke up to a text message from James asking me if I was awake..at 5am. I replied back that I was and he said good, throw your hair up in that messy thing you do and let’s go eat waffles. At first I wanted to respond and say I really need a shower and time to fix my makeup/hair..but then I realized something…I’m a messy bun kinda girl. If my sister and I were going to breakfast at 5am, I would have done just that..thrown my hair up, put a hoodie on and rolled out the door. So that’s exactly what I did :) Put my hair up, pulled on a hoodie and said alright let’s go. There is something wonderful about a guy who lets you be yourself..the girl that likes to dress up and go to fancy restaurants and the girl who loves waffles and eggs at 5am. Breakfast was crazy fun. Really relaxed.. James took me to another hole-in-the-wall place and we laughed and had the best time over syrupy waffles and eggs (waffles are the way to my heart..). We talked until it was time for me to go help my sister move into CSU (she’s a big senior this year!) and I didn’t think anything was amiss. He hugged me, said he couldn’t wait to see me again, kissed me and said he’d call me later that night.

That was five days ago..not a text, not a call, nothing since. So all of these feelings of doubt and insecurity have come sweeping back in. What did I do wrong, how did I mess it up, why am I so stupid when it comes to boys..and the list goes on. It’s hard..hard to realize that someone might not feel the same way about you that you do about them (this girl is in pretty crazy like of this handsome Marine). I was so careful..careful to guard my little heart because it was afraid of this very thing..being trampled on again. I thought maybe this time it would be different. He’s older, more mature, has his life together..but I guess I was wrong…

I’m okay with a guy changing his mind about how he feels about you..but I’d like the courtesy of an acknowledgement about it. Please just politely call a girl and say..hey, these past few weeks have been great, but I don’t think this relationship is something I’d like to pursue. To me that is painful to hear, but I respect a man who shows a woman such  courtesy. Instead of blowing her off like she’s nothing…because I am not nothing…I am something.

These feeling of insecurity have been a battle this week. It’s something I have to work hard at. Being confident, strong and independent take work for me. I never want to be the “victim”..I was one once..and I never want to be in that dark place again…but this feels a whole lot like it…I was talking with my best friend Payden about it the other night..and he said something very profound: “Sounds like he’s not interested.” It hit me like a wall of brick. It hurt..I’ve invested 6 weeks of meaningful, personal conversation and several dates. But I realized I had two choices..I could be devastated about this..which I kind of am…or I can remember that I’ve lived 26 years of my life without this man in it and I was just fine.

Now, if I’m wrong..someone comment back and let me know…But for now, I’ll take 5 days of absolutely no contact as his way of saying: “I’m not interested”. To answer the question of have I shown interest, yes, I have. However, I have been letting James initiate conversation. He’s been texting first, he’s been calling… I want to be pursued..I am not going to chase a man.

On top of dealing with all of these feelings of insecurity, which anger me, everyday I have to make myself look in the mirror (which I hate) and remember that I am a very accomplished 26 yr old female. I graduated from high school early with two diplomas, graduated from college with honors and two diplomas, have traveled the world, speak multiple languages..but at the end of the day…I’m still a lonely little girl hiding from the world between the pages of a book. I’ve been to counseling, I’ve tried joining new groups, making new friends, filling every hour of my day with something…but it still doesn’t take this cloak of loneliness away.

I have all these feelings running through my head and my heart 24/7..it’s like a bad dream you can’t wake up from..and the stress eating away at me. Work has been insane..I’ve felt like I couldn’t breathe all week. I love my job, I couldn’t ask for a better one..but this week it’s been a challenge to pull into work and put on a happy face. I don’t feel happy. I don’t want to act happy. I don’t want people to ask me how I am..because they really don’t care..they don’t. Have you ever noticed that if someone asks you how you are and you say you’re ok..they say that’s good and keep on walking? NO ONE CARES. I’ve sat in my office for five days, working extremely hard to get things done on time, coming in early and leaving late, listening to my music wishing for 5pm to get here faster. For the most part it’s like I live in a bubble for 8+ hours a day. It’s just me and music. There’s no one to eat lunch with because after being rejected invitation after invitation, I just stopped asking people. So I run. A lot. So hard that I can’t feel my legs. For an hour each day..it’s just me and my Nike’s killing pavement. Because it’s the only time I don’t feel alone…I feel alive.

Compound the stress of remodeling a house, packing to move, the whole James thing, loneliness and add graduate school onto it. Grad school has started and I’m loving/hating it all at the same time. I’m thankful I have an amazing best friend going through the program with me. He’s going to be my saving grace and I’m very well going to be his. I love Payden because he’s real. What you see is what you get. He took me to dinner after class Wednesday night so we could work on homework and looked at me. When I asked him why he was looking at me, he said tell me what’s wrong. He’s the only person this week that’s realized something was going on. It was refreshing to just talk. We talked until they kicked us out of the restaurant and then just sat in the parking lot talking and working on homework.

They should call grad school “sleep deprivation for the next two years of your life”. I have no idea how some of the people in my class do this. They have families, little children and full-time jobs. I’m single, have no kids (except a furry one), work full-time, coach and it’s kicking my butt. I fell asleep on my laptop the other night. I haven’t gone to bed until 1 or 2am every night trying to stay caught up on my homework and get ahead. Some nights I feel as if I’m reading Greek..but so far I’ve made all A’s on my assignments. So that’s been a positive this week.

All this to say..I’m having a really bad Friday and don’t want to give it a high five..but I’m going to make myself…here goes..

1 – I’m excited I’m actually finally in the MBA program. That in itself was a pretty big accomplishment for me :)

2 – I’m thankful I finally had one romantic dinner date.

3 – I’m excited that I finally get to move into my house this weekend :)

4 – I’m thankful for a brother that helps his sister paint her new house into the late hours of the night and helps her with accounting homework. One who forgives her when she takes out her anger at life out on him..one who hugs her and tells her she’s got this.

5 – I’m thankful that I have Monday off and can sleep all day if I want to.

 

So high-five for Friday finally being here :) What are you up to this holiday weekend my lovelies?

 

XoXo,

One Teary Eyed Lemon

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Weekend Wrap Up..First Dates and Chicken Plates

Another busy weekend in the books for me! It was so much fun though :)

Friday we celebrated Gram’s 78th Birthday. She wanted to go out for brunch so we picked her up and off we all traipsed to Cracker Barrel. Be proud! I resisted the urge to eat carbs and ordered eggs instead. We had the worst waitress..I felt bad for her. The food however was superb. Then it was off to take my sister by the university to take her summer class final. She passed! We spent the rest of the day shopping and hanging out until she had to leave to go back to Charleston. Mom, Dad and I went to Lowe’s to buy my new vanities for my bathrooms! Talk about an exciting moment! More details and pics coming this week!

Saturday morning I headed down to Charleston to see one of my dearest, best-est friends, Lilly.  She recently moved back from Atlanta and I hadn’t had a chance to see her new apartment yet. It was a great drive down there until the eighteen wheeler rest area blocked me and I had to drive 30mts to get to the next non-sketchy bathroom. But I survived and there was no rain.

You might have caught my post last week about James, but if not let me fill you in! James is a friend of a mutual friend, a former Marine and a weapons specialist. Our mutual friend suggested that the two of us meet and introduced us. We’ve been talking on the phone now for about two weeks. James served a tour in Iraq before being sent home after surviving an IED blast. As a result of the blast, he is blind in his right eye. James and I had planned to meet up on Saturday morning and hangout at the beach but he had an emergency come up so we rescheduled for Sunday. Y’all this boy is precious..let me re-phrase that..this man is precious. I have been pleasantly impressed with his manners and his pursuit. He calls instead of texts which I love. We talk on the phone like we’ve known each other our whole lives instead of two weeks. He called me on my way to Charleston to make sure I hadn’t run into any rain and to request that when stopping at non-sketchy bathrooms I tell someone where I stopped (so that if I went missing they had a point of reference to begin looking). Military/Police background…you have to love it :)

I finally made it to Lilly’s and we headed downtown. Lilly had an interview at Republic Garden at 3pm. We parked only to get on the street and realize it was at the OTHER end of the street. So needless to say Lilly, Sam and I booked it to the restaurant. Sam (oh! she’s Lilly’s sister btw..) and I tooled around this awesome toy shop during Lilly’s interview. They even had a Nickelodeon Piano! The Magnifilous Toy Emporium (Magnificent + Fabulous) on upper King is a delightful shop! If they carry it at Toys-R-Us I guarantee you..it won’t be found at the Emporium. Sam and I had the best time looking at classic games from our childhood. The best part was watching the kids in the store. They were having the greatest time laughing and giggling. It was as equally catered to adults as it was for the children..because honestly, we’re all kids at heart :)Her interview went really well! She connected with the manager and bartender who were interviewing her. They were very impressed with her resume. She’s supposed to get a call back today so cross your fingers!!

After Lilly’s interview, we dropped Sam off at work. She works for a charter company as a tour guide. Lilly and I spent the rest of the afternoon tolling around downtown, the bookstore and then went to the movies to watch Tammy. I can’t say that it was one of my favorite Melissa McCarthy films. There is a lot of negative self-image in their portrayal of the female role. Derogatory comments, alcoholism and foul language gave this movie a C- rating from me.

James called to say he’d resolved the emergency and to see if I was by chance free for dinner. I said I was. We met up at Leaf, a super quaint cafe style restaurant. It was great! He’s as amazing in person as he is on the phone ;) Ladies..when I say he’s adorable..he’s adorable ;) Such a gentleman too! Our friends joined us shortly after dinner which made it all the more fun! James’ friend Bryan, a North Charleston police officer, joined us and he hit it off with Lilly immediately. We hung out and talked for about an hour and half before the guys asked us if we’d like to walk around downtown. Downtown Charleston is the best place in the summer! There are always a hundred things going on it seems. It was the best night just walking around laughing and joking with each other.  The guys were polite enough to point out the puddles. I, unfortunately, took a tumble on the wet stairs…yay for Lindsay Phillips shoes that slide on really wet wooden stairs. So I’m currently sporting two massive bruises on my shin.

We split ways and I got a goodnight kiss :) (He asked first! I liked that..ever the gentleman!). James invited us to the beach on Sunday. His family has a house on Edisto Island. Lilly had plans but I was free. So Sunday morning, James and I spent the morning at the beach. I had the greatest time walking on the beach and talking with him. He shared about life in Iraq, surviving an IED blast and the difficulty he had transitioning back into life as a civilian who has combat experience. Coming from a military family, I know the struggles these soldiers go through when they come back from war. It pulled my heart-strings even more. We shared our college experiences…I must say..his stories are way funnier than mine! Their house was amazing! It sits back off the road by the marsh. The porch swing made for the perfect spot to sit and munch on snacks. James had to be back by 2pm so we left the island about noon. He gave me a personal tour as I hadn’t ever been to Edisto before. It’s so cute! I definitely want to go back and stroll around some more. I saw some thrift shops and you know they were calling my name..

After he dropped me off, Lilly, Sam and I went to lunch. We were all starving (more like STAAAARHHHHHHVING.) and between the three of us we have a plethora of coupons to be used at different places. We went to Ol’ Charley’s. I was beyond excited to see they had chicken and waffles on the menu. Two of my favorite things :) We had a fabulous waitress! Sitting at a table with two people who work in the food industry for a living tends to make dining out tricky..they’re constantly reviewing wait time, appetizer to table time and such..but she was fabulous! We splurged from healthy eating..(as indicated by my amazing chicken and waffles..) and ordered some fried pickles. Totally a southern thing and whoever invented them is an amazing person!!

After dropping Sam off, Lilly and I headed out to Isle of Palms. We have a tradition that anytime we’re in Charleston we walk from inlet #23 to the pier and back. We’ve been doing it for forever..we realized this time that it had been over 2 years since we’d done it and agreed that it was a tragedy! So we’ve resolved to make monthly time to get together a priority..schedules allowing. It was rather toasty so we headed over to see my little sister at Belgian Gelato on Vendue. I’d never been to that part of the water front before and I was in awe of the typography and architecture. We got some gelato, pineapple mango for me and salted caramel for Lilly. It was SOOOOOOOOO GOOOOD!!!! It started pouring..typical Charleston and we made a mad dash back to the car.

I was exhausted but it was a super fun weekend. Thankfully the rain cleared up on my way out of Charleston and I had smooth weather all the way home.

How was your weekend? Did you have some sunshine?

XoXo!

One Happy Lemon

PS! I didn’t get sunburned at all!!! Hurray!

Weekend Wrap Up..When Unicorns Aren’t Enough

Hey My Lovelies!

It’s a Monday! I feel like I haven’t stopped this weekend! It’s been crazy busy..but when is my life ever slow? Never.. July is always a fun month for my family :) It’s my mom’s, brother’s and grandma’s birthday plus my gram’s anniversary and the 4th of July!

I met a new guy! I decided to branch out of my normal circles..because guys in this town are oh so immature. I’m to the point where I’m just over it. One of my friends in Charleston has been bugging me to death to meet some of the guys down there. So I figured why not? I don’t have anything to lose. She introduced me to a former Marine. (Failed to tell me he was super tall!) He’s the sweetest guy y’all & he has a dachshund..automatic brownie points right there. James and I have been talking these past few weeks and I am enjoying getting to know him. When I say talking..I mean actually talking on the phone..as in he actually knows how to call a girl. It’s amazing! I much prefer talking to texting any day.

This past weekend we celebrated my mom and brother’s birthday :) My brother was born the day after my mom’s bday..she always jokes about he wouldn’t even let her finish her dinner. I remember the day my brother was born :) My grandpa took me out for breakfast and said well Pooh..(short for pooh bear because I might have been slightly obsessed..okay I won’t lie..I’m still obsessed with Winnie the Pooh), let’s go meet your little brother! He was soo tiny!! He weighed the most out of the 3 of us..coming in at 7lbs 5oz..Hard to believe he’s 5’11 now!

Mom and I spent her birthday tooling around town :) We’ve been making bangles together and decided to buy stuff to make a burlap wreath. My aunt was in town from Virginia and we all decided to meet up for birthday lunch. It was so much fun! All of the girls (except my little sister and cousin) made it. We laughed and giggled through our soup and salad. That afternoon mom taught me how to make Pop’s secret boiled peanuts. Seriously..nobody made them better than Pop-Pop.

Friday night, my dad and I went to pick up my sister’s new ride. A few weeks ago she encountered a flash flood in Charleston and instead of driving around the water she attempted to drive through the water. Needless to say, she learned a valuable lesson about water and electricity. Thankfully she was okay..but unfortunately Henrietta the HHR..was not. Dad finally found a good deal this week and I was kind of envious! I’m not a car person generally but I love the way a Volvo and BMW handle. So we picked up her new ride and took it over to the paint shop for a few minor touch ups. She had a Volvo before her HHR and wished that she hadn’t traded it in..but hindsight is 20/20 :)

Saturday was sooo insane! I had to run into work for an hour and half to re-upload a file..then it was off to pick up the two dogs I’m dog sitting this week :) They’re two of my most favorite customers. I love when I have repeat clientele! These little guys are adorable! I’ve been keeping them for the past 6 years. Otis looks hilarious! His mom took him last week to get a haircut and he was appalled that the groomer shaved him..he told me he’s much more dapper fluffy. Needless to say Buster, Otis and I always have a fun week together.

I was sad on Saturday. Due to a conflict, I missed a very important funeral. My dad’s contractor passed away last week : ( But he’s been more than a contractor to us..he’s been family. His father married my aunt in 2002 on Valentine’s Day. Their marriage brought our families together and created a very unique blend. My aunt and uncle’s house was always the place to be. It was there that I first met Mr. Grady. He was a precious man. His life might not have been the best…but the man could do some amazing things with wood. I smile every time I walk through our house..all the projects my dad thought he could handle only to have Mr. Grady come over and fix what he messed up. He built our deck on the back of our house :) He had battled cancer valiantly this past year..but losing his dad took a toll on him. We lost my uncle and aunt last year within 2 weeks of each other last year. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever lived through in my life. This year..Uncle Frank’s sons have died within months of each other. We lost Glenn and now Grady. My mom and dad were able to make the funeral and I felt better knowing they were there in my place.

Saturday was my crazy brother’s birthday. My dad decided randomly after the funeral that we should take off and go see him. My dad’s been sick the past two weeks so I offered to drive. Well..let’s just say that mom and I were talking and I completely forgot about July beach traffic until I was stuck bumper-to-bumper in it. A trip that normally takes us about 2 hours..took us four. But..being able to spend time with your only brother is what it’s all about :) I was excited to be able to see The Village Surf Shop’s new window in person. They hired a great typographer to come do some hand lettering. I’ve been drooling over the Instagram photos since they posted them. My brother is super tight with the owner’s so we’ve done a lot of business with them over the years. They also stock our Killa Surf Squad merchandise! I’m pleased to say the t-shirts sold out within a week. But don’t worry new stock is on the way! We went to the Conch Grille to grab some dinner and dad was in rare form. I promise you his jokes get worse and worse the older he gets. Kudos to our waitress for being a good sport and putting up with him. I had the most amazing Mahi Mahi! Grilled to perfection, it literally melted in my mouth. After dinner, we headed over to Old Time Pottery, one of my absolute favorite stores in Myrtle Beach. You just never know what you’re going to find there. I discovered they have a craft section! Mom and I saw the metal wreaths we’d been searching for to make burlap wreaths. I wish I had bought more than two. They were super cheap :)

The drive home was so much better. Only took me about an hour and forty minutes. But..after doing a HIIT workout Friday, running and driving 8+ hours on Saturday..my back was so stiff. I looked like an old lady walking into church yesterday.

Sunday night was super fun! I headed over to Anna’s house for KC’s 7th birthday :) I can’t believe how big her boys are getting! They were watching the World Cup when I got there. Her dad and I had the best time doing our own running commentary. I was the only one pulling for Germany. Apparently, James was pulling for Germany too. I got a hilarious text message from him with a photo of him in his Germany jersey & jacket. It’s always fun to spend time with Anna’s family :) Both her family and her husband’s family were there. They are just a fun bunch to hangout with. I’m glad they include me in their get-togethers. KC got a metal detector for his birthday and had the best time scouring the yard for hidden treasure. He found a big treasure in the backyard. A piece of old chain was buried and Hot Rod (Anna’s Dad) helped him dig it up :) So much fun! Anna makes the cutest cakes and decorations! You could literally create an entire Pinterest board with her decorations of cuteness. KC had a Lego cake and it was balling! It was soooo yummy too! Chocolate :) My fav!

It was a really fun weekend :) I went home and made more boiled peanuts with Mom. I attempted to make a batch by myself Saturday..and I won’t lie..I must not have done something right..they were horrible!

I feel like I’ve run a marathon this weekend..it’s been non-stop. Whew..

How was your weekend? Anything fun and exciting happen?

XoXo!

One Legs Propped Up Resting Lemon

She Said Yes! Now We Have to Find A Dress..Part 2

This weekend was really busy..so hang on while we scoot through Part 2!

About a week ago one of my best friends in the entire world got engaged! WAHOO! It’s really a funny story..she was kind of mad at us because we all knew he had the ring we just played along that he was taking forever. Robert had bought Teri an anchor necklace with a diamond in it and kind of faked her out. (The necklace is symbolic because her dad gave her mom one just like it!) Robert’s plan was to put the necklace on her then be on one knee when she turned around. He had already opened the ring but in the middle of Robert trying to get the clasp to hook Teri turned around and saw the ring. He stuttered and said this wasn’t how this was supposed to go..Teri’s response..and I quote: “Are you freaking serious right now?”. Robert said: “Yes, Will you marry me?” of course she said yes!

So now we have a ring, a venue, a wedding planning book (because we’re both OCD) and a plan. They just have to agree on a date :)

We headed down to Charleston to celebrate Teri’s younger cousin’s 21st Birthday and look at wedding stuff. It was so much fun! I’ve only been to Charleston a few times before and hadn’t really seen a lot of it. The Spoleto festival was going on as well so it was awesome to catch some of that.

We found our hotel, checked in and then headed down King street to meet the crew at Kaminsky’s Bakery. It was soooo good! I haven’t been eating a lot of sweets lately but I treated myself to a chocolate chip cookie sundae :) Yum Yum Yum…

We spent the rest of the afternoon shopping our the boutiques. My sister and her boyfriend met up with us for a little while and then we all went out to dinner at King Street Grille. They had quite an impressive menu! I created my own salad..romaine lettuce, black olives, feta, grilled chicken, roasted red peppers and sunflower seeds with a Dijon dressing. My tummy was very happy!

I enjoyed meeting my sister’s boy. I’ve heard a lot about him but hadn’t had the chance to meet him yet. A shame as they’ve been dating for like 8 months or something now. I was very impressed with him. It’s rare to meet at gentleman these days. He was a good balance to her energetic self. (And a vast improvement over the last boyfriend..but somethings she has to learn on her own…)

After dinner we walked around downtown Charleston. Kara, Teri’s sister, went to school there as well as T’s fiancée. Robert’s a Citadel graduate. So I learned a lot about Charleston!

Sunday morning, we headed to AC’s for breakfast. I must say that I’ve been a “waffles and chicken” hater..but I finally decided you can’t bash what you’ve never tried and ordered it for breakfast. I can honestly say I think it’s my new favorite food.

After breakfast, we headed out to look at some venues for the reception. The wedding is going to be in the chapel at the Citadel and I am in love with it. I’ve never been to the Citadel and Robert gave Teri and I the behind the scenes tour. Teri’s mom and dad got married at the gazebo there too so we decided to shot some engagement photos there. We ran into the bookstore to check out their “swag” and came home with new shirts and decals.

I rode back home with the MOB :) (For you guys reading this that stands for Mother of the Bride) Mrs. Crunk is like my second mom. She’s super crazy, fun! She runs races with me and I just love her to pieces. She adopted me into their family a few years ago when Teri and I were working together. Mrs. C is the best. We had a blast talking wedding stuff and critiquing her future son-in-laws driving on the way back.

I was super-duper exhausted by the time I finally got home :) But it’s exciting! I can’t wait to watch my best marry her boy :) I’ve been a part of their story from the moment they met, through the awkward first date, to holding her hand while he was away for 6 months with the Guard. I can’t wait to walk down the aisle and watch her rock his world when she comes in.

But! First my behind’s got to get back to a regular routine at the gym! Bridesmaid’s have to be tone :)

And now for the big ANNOUNCEMENT!! The sale of my house was approved yesterday! I’m 9 days away from being a home owner and I can’t tell you how excited I am! I’ve been trying not to get excited because I didn’t want to be soo disappointed if anything fell through. BUT NOW I’M EXCITED!! It’s going to be awesome..and scary..and awesome all at the same time. I think my mom is totally ready for me to move out..I’ve kind of taken over half of her guest room with all of my “stuff” for my new house :) She’ll get over it though..

Anyways! Can’t wait to share more with you as I remodel { RJ is going to have a fun summer break! He just doesn’t know it yet :) } and do some DIY projects in the backyard. Ahhh…finally casa de la Katerina :)

Much Xoxo’s!

One Blissfully Happy Bridesmaid to Be