Whoop….there it is…

Hello My Lovelies!

Do you ever have a Fabulous Friday and then in a matter of thirty seconds it comes crashing down?

Amazing how that happens isn’t it? Well…it happened.

I was enjoying my half day off yesterday and looking forward to my date this weekend with Montana. We had planned to go to the Big Mo drive-in movie theatre to see Jungle Book and Captain America after I got off work Saturday.

It’s been such fun with him over the last six weeks and I was excited that I FINALLY seemed to have made it past the second date disaster zone that seems to be my struggle in life. We had the best date last weekend. He and Koda came and surprised me on Sunday and we had plans for this weekend.

I have been very careful about not getting too emotionally invested.  My sister is always telling me I fall too hard and too fast for people that I need to take some lessons from the Ice Queen. I guess that’s the artist emotional side of me…but I had been mindful to guard my emotions and my heart. This was the first week I allowed myself to be happy and get a little bit excited.

I was sitting on my couch yesterday afternoon watching Chicago PD (I’m slightly obsessed with the whole Chicago series…PD, MED, Fire…) and my phone went off. I knew by the ringtone it was Montana.

Excited, I picked up my phone expecting it to be about our date tomorrow….only to read this:

Hey, I need to tell you something. Billy (bar owner of Coates) introduced me to a gal earlier this week. Her and I kind of hit it off and I don’t know…something about it seemed like a pretty good connection. I hate to do this because I enjoy our time together. But I don’t want you waiting around for me and missing out on some other guy. I’m going to see where things go with her because I feel like I can see things further down the road with her. I don’t know how to explain it to make it sound any better. Just how I feel I guess. I’m really sorry….. :(

Yeah…not what I was expecting at all.

I replied: Thanks for letting me know.

A few minutes later, I got another text telling me he just didn’t feel right not saying anything at all. He then proceeded with the whole “You’re going to find an amazing guy who will love all of the fabulous things about you. I’m just sorry it wasn’t me…”

Ha…

I wasn’t devastated but it did hurt….I cried a little….It’s been a year since MB and I broke up (crazy how time flies huh?). I’ve been very selective about who I have gone on dates with since. I wasn’t looking to have my heart broken again, but I guess that’s the risk you take when you go on a date huh?

So I did what any girl would do…went shopping…then had a tearful moment after I checked out because all I was holding was a bag of cat food and toilet paper…

Thankfully my Berkley bestie was working the bar at Longhorn and I happened to have a Darden gift card thanks to my awesome momma. So I sat at the bar (my parents would be appalled), eating chicken tenders (sometimes you just have to say screw healthy food) and watching the Braves game. Told my story to the two hilarious ladies sitting beside me who were appalled that he had texted that and laughed with them about life for awhile. The man sitting on the other side of me with his wife overheard and told me before they left that it was pretty lame and sh*** for a guy to do that and that I was better off without him.

My other bestie was sweet enough to drive back to town to sit with me for awhile. She is the best! I am thankful for her listening ear and hugs and I’m glad we are kindred spirits.

So after the tears, the anger, the what-the-heck-is-wrong-with-me moment…I realized there is nothing wrong with me. Mind boggling….

I always tend to blame myself when things go wrong. But I can’t do that. I have to accept that just because he chose that ending for our story doesn’t mean that I messed the story up.

So I think it’s time I stop trying to take control of my love story and let God do His thing. It is the one area in my life that I struggle to give Him complete control. I want it to happen now. I love my single life. I love the things He allows me to do, but I want to share that with someone. I want to have my own family to come home to at the end of the day. I want the kind of love my grandparents shared for 55 years.

So thanks Montana for reminding me that what I want, wasn’t what I had.

XoXo!

One Sweatpants Wearing Lemon

 

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This is modern fairytale…

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Once upon a time, a beautiful princess lived in a city. Sadly in the city, princes were scarce and those pretending to be turned out to be frogs. She walked the city day after day, wondering if she would ever find such a man as the rumored Prince Charming seemed to be.

Frustrated one evening after meeting yet again another prince who turned out to be a frog, she went to her friend’s castle to lament about the state of their fair city. The other maidens of the castle agreed with her sad tale of woe. Upon such sadness did they decided to travel about the countryside. Out of the town they went, determined to clear their minds of these dreadful frogs.

Upon a small place did they stop to dine and rest their weary horses. As they listened to the music of the night, the princess was approached by what she thought must surely be a frog in disguise. One of the maidens gave vouch to his character, but the princess was not so easily swayed. Yet, as the night wore on…what she thought was a frog…began to strangely look like a prince..could it be? Was there one fair prince hiding in the midst of the city walls?

The night ended and the princess ran off to her castle..leaving the prince quite distraught because he had yet to ask for a number upon which to call the princess by.

The other maidens fair, began to dabble and play as only cupid would. They conspired to reunite the prince and the princess. Subtle (not subtle) hints were thrown, a through some twist of fate her number traveled through hands until one day the prince inquired of the princess if he might call on her. Hesitantly she agreed and traveled on her trusty steed.

Again she was wary…having had unpleasant experience, after unpleasant experience with toads will do that to a girl. But alas…the night was full of surprises. For never once did she feel the dread that usually crept upon her soul…instead her heart was full and happy as she daintily sipped her tea. Wonders began to run through her head, and she quickly tried to put them to bed. Yet as the night wore on, she felt sadness creep upon her when the end came near. But the promise of another night with the prince she held dear.

Anxiously, she awaited for the night to come. She worried of what to wear, how to do her hair..a week later (though to her like a fortnight did it feel) the night drew near. She twiddled and twitched as she awaited for the arrival of the prince. Never had anyone offered to pick her up before…it was a night of surprise she would soon discover…for whence the prince arrived upon her door, his arms were laden with roses red. In twenty years of living, never had anyone been so sweet or brought the princess such delightful treats. Twas a night to remember and one she’ll never soon forget. For as they left her castle, the prince escorted her to the carriage at which he halted and opened up the door. Her heart began skipping beats, for never had she experienced anything as sweet. Never had one been so kind as the prince was to her that night. As they traveled the city fair, sampling food, and enjoying the night, not once did she have any fear, only a peace and a joy she held near…for finally the princess felt as if she were a brilliant beauty to behold…a treasure….and treasure her he did…

Sadly, the clock struck 12 and the evening came to an end..but not without the promise that he would see her once again :)

XoXo,

One Treasured Lemon