Dancing, Dates and 28

Mmmmm…hello my lovelies!

It’s been awhile since I last checked in. Life has been crazy with school this semester. I have survived the world of Business Analytics, one of the more challenging courses in our program (at least for this non-math kiddo!). Y’all!! I have three classes left…three!! Can you believe it?

It seems like yesterday I was getting sweet notes of encouragement from y’all telling me to go for it! I’m so glad you’ve walked this journey with me!

This year I’ve been trying to do new things…things I’ve never done…things that challenge me!

I’ve been going to a Lindy Hop class here in town and I was super scared the first time I went with CB. I’m not very coordinated and I was worried I wouldn’t be able to keep up. But I’ve been learning a lot and practicing a lot in my living room. Penelope thinks I’m crazy some nights haha.

It’s been fun learning the Charleston, Lindy Hop and a little bit of East Coast swing…and I’ve discovered…I LOVE DANCING! I mean I’ve always loved it but kind of felt like the ugly duckling at the ball haha. But now I think I’m finally getting the hang of it.

I’m literally the world’s best kitchen dancer haha. I dance while I cook. I dance down the hall to put the linens up…I could literally dance all night. It’s been a fun challenge!

And now…the dates! So what’s it like to date at 28? As awkward as it was to date at 27. There are so many rules and ques and smh moments. I really don’t get it haha. Why can’t a guy just say: “Hey, I’d like to take you out to dinner because I’m interested in getting to know you more.”

Instead it’s this awkward guessing game that leaves this girl sooo frustrated. So I went on a first date last weekend. It seemed to go really well. There were a few awkward moments but that’s to be expected on a first date right? At the end of dinner, he asked if I would like to grab coffee and a donut so I accepted. We drove across town and grabbed some coffee. He left shortly after that to get back home for work and ended by saying how much he had enjoyed the date and that we should do this again soon.

And apparently we have different definitions of the word soon….because here it is a week later and homeslice hasn’t texted, hasn’t called…so needless to say I got that signal pretty quickly.

But ehhh…it is what it is.

I seem to be in the season of friends setting me up on dates! But I’m not complaining. I like meeting new people and so far none of them have been creepers. So Jess set me up with his friend Austin. And y’all…this boy is cute! I mean seriously cute!! Tall…he’s got that mid-western drawl and a cowboy hat. Yeah…that’s right! This boy is the real deal…straight from Montana. He rodeos, he rides, he runs, he’s deliciously tall and I was really excited when he called and asked if we could go out on a date.

Ladies….little sidebar here. His first invitation was to come over for a bbq at his place with his friends….ummm yeah no! DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT drive over an hour to meet a guy for a first date. So I politely responded and told him that was out of my comfort zone.

Needless to day, I quickly got a backtrack and he asked me for a dinner date in my town. I was really excited! With our work schedules it took a bit of finagling. We figured out a date and I happened to have tickets to the USC baseball game so I invited him to come with me. I love the anticipation of a first date… the texting your best friends for outfit ideas, Pintrest stalking outfits, and running around town to find the perfect aviators.

We were talking on the phone last night about waffles for some reason…and Austin was like hey…let’s do something crazy…and I asked what…and he said lets go get waffles. Mind you this boy is an hour away from me, was out with his friends, and dropped everything to come eat waffles.

So our first date was I think one of my favorite first dates so far..We met at a hole-in-the-wall diner for waffles. And before I knew it…it was 3am. We laughed, cracked jokes, and ate waffles to our hearts content. Austin had to get back for work at 5am…bless his heart he pulled an all nighter…so we said goodbye and made plans for Sunday.

I spent today working on my garden :) It made the time go by faster. There’s something catharthic about having your hands in dirt. Before I knew it, I was covered from head to toe in dirt and of course that was when my neighbors walked over to introduce themselves. I guess they got to see what a country girl looks like haha. But I’ve got blueberries, squash, poblano peppers, jalapeno peppers, sweet peppers (I went a little pepper crazy), habanero peppers, spaghetti squash, sweet potatoes, kale ursa, onions, tomatoes and herbs! I love me some herbs…mint, spearmint, lemon balm, basil, purple basil, lavender, rosemary and I finally got an aloe plant :)

I’m really excited about tomorrow! So excited I can’t really sleep haha.

So here’s to first dates, dancing and being 28!

XoXo,

One Aviator Sporting Lemon

 

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Dear 27…

Well 27 is officially over! And I couldn’t be more excited.

27…was rough…and mean…and ugly….and fought dirty.

But I learned a few things…some happy…some sad…

1 – Take care of your body…because ending up on the floor with a back injury bites.

2 – Relationships take a lot of work..and if it takes a ton of work…it’s probably not the right one for you. I spent so many exhausting hours trying to make things work that I didn’t realize that was a red flag. I just thought that was what people did…but I learned from seeking Godly counsel..that a good relationship is easy. There is open communication and mutual respect.

3 – I’m not a night owl…so I don’t have to pretend like I am one. #LarkForever

4 – True friends let you ugly cry on their shoulder.

5 – Family is what you make it…but they can make or break you if you let them.

6 – I control my life. ~ while this seems like a no brainer…it was a huge revelation for me. I no longer let (key word there!) people run over me or bully me into things I don’t want to do. I hung the phone up on people when they chose to talk about topics I said were off limits. I told people to get off my property. I got mean…but sometimes you have to protect you.

7 – Saying No is freedom. There isn’t enough time for me to express how much this changed my life last year. I learned to set hard boundaries. I learned how to politely and firmly say NO. I delegated. I turned down clients (shocking I know!). I said NO for 30 days and it changed my life. #TheBestKeptSelf #TheBestYes

8 – You can be broken….and survive. I literally hit rock bottom last year after my parents separated and filed for divorce. I couldn’t fix it, I couldn’t play mediator, I couldn’t handle it. It was like 27 years of pent up emotional trauma and family drama damage came rushing forth. I spent months processing ugly truths. I was emotionally, mentally, and physically spent. I learned what it felt like to be existing each day. It hurt to see so many happy people when the only thing I felt like doing was crying. I felt ugly and dark on the inside. My bright cheery life was a cloudy gray. I didn’t feel happy. I didn’t want to smile. I didn’t want to do anything but curl up and cry. To top it off, when I told Matt I needed a break to process what was going on in my life..he walked out..instead of hearing me say I was emotionally struggling he took it personally and ended our relationship. The tears I cried that night came from the depths of my soul. I can’t explain the pain I felt…I can’t explain the cries that came from within. It was as if something had finally broken and it was released for me to bear no more. When I asked God to do a work in me, I don’t think I was fully prepared for the storm he sent me through…but now as I reflect back on last year I realized he never gave me more than I could handle.

9 – Beauty is fleeting…so work on your soul. I invested in me. I went to church. I read more of my Bible than I think I ever have. I prayed…a lot. I studied.

10 – When I get stressed out I do two things…binge eat or run till I fall and hit the pavement. I retrained my body last year. Now, I address what’s causing the stress or anxiety and attack it head on. I’m learning what it means to live an emotionally healthy life. I’m learning confrontation skills. I’m learning to process. These are skills I’ve had to teach myself and thankfully God put an amazing couple, the Hiatt’s, in my life that have mentored me and counseled me the past three years as I’ve begun the journey to living a healthy life.

11 – I love my house. Seriously…I’m okay with being an old lady. Let me live on my couch in peace.

12 – Breaking an eating disorder is a life long process. When the stress and anxiety come at you in full force, it’s hard not to fall back into old habits.They’re sneaky…those whispers that come out of nowhere…I’ve fought for seven years to slay that demon and he attacked with 200% last year. It was a daily battle to hold him off. Some days I won, some days I lost… But I learned that he doesn’t control me. God does and with Him anything is possible. He showed me through mercy and grace that I am fearfully and wonderfully created just the way He wanted me to be. Yes that may mean 4 inches above average height, fifteen lbs heavier than my coach ever wanted me to be, and boasting some softball thighs for life..but as I struggled to learn to love myself last year….I learned more than I’ve ever known before. It’s a hard place to be…when you want nothing more than to harm your body…but God’s screaming how much He loves you and doesn’t want you to harm his temple. Having an eating disorder is not something I share with many people. At this point in my life only three people who are very close to me know how much of a struggle it is. But I learned some skills I needed to handle the stress and anxiety so that I can stop the spiral before it ever

13 – If your warning lights go off in a situation, pay attention to them. Sometimes I think I get so caught up in wanting to be loved, that I forget to let God love me. I fall into relationships that aren’t always healthy. I tend to like to fix people…I learned that fixing people isn’t my job. It’s God’s. I learned what signs to look for, what guys to avoid, and what I need to work on to make sure that I’m where I need to be. When you come from an emotionally unhealthy family…you’re naturally drawn to unhealthy people. Because that’s what you know. But! You don’t have to fall into that cycle. You can teach yourself what signs to look for and learn what a healthy family looks like :)

14 – Parents make your life crazy…but you don’t have to live a crazy life….Becoming an adult is a growing process. I’ve never walked this path before so I’m learning as I go. But I learned that it’s okay to tell your family you love them, but you’re not going to participate in their crazy. I told my parents harsh things last year. I ended my relationship with my father because he could not speak to me without respecting boundaries. It was a hard four months, but he finally learned that if he wanted to have a relationship with me he had to respect the boundaries I set. It doesn’t mean our relationship now is perfect, but it is on my terms and within my boundaries. I don’t let him guilt trip me, I don’t let him speak down to me, I don’t let him buy my affection with gifts….and it’s been one of the best things I’ve ever done for me.

15 – I really like to run :) I gained some weight while I was dating MB and through the whole parental situation. The night MB and I broke up, I cried and then I went for a six mile run. And I ran the next day, and the next day and I kept running. I hated how much weight I had gained. I hated how my body looked. I hated that my clothes didn’t fit. I literally locked myself in the bathroom during a girls trip to the beach and cried because I couldn’t wear a dress I wanted to wear. I stayed curled up in the tub while my cousins went to dinner because I felt like a whale. So I started running again and slowly the weight stared coming off. I changed my pizza for Paleo and it came off faster and faster. I’m still not where I want to be, but I’m a whole lot closer than I was last year in August.

16 – God’s got an amazing guy somewhere that is going to be loved by this girl so hard when he comes along. I love my husband. I know you might think it’s funny…I mean I’m not even married yet. But I do! I love him so much even though I have no idea who he is. I keep a prayer journal and I pray for my future husband daily. Sometimes God gives me specific things to pray for, sometimes I just pray for him to know he is loved. Last year, he went through a difficult situation. I don’t know what..I just know that for two weeks I prayed constantly for him day and night. God didn’t give me a release to stop until the wee hours of a Saturday morning. I knew in my heart he had made the decision he needed to make, that it had been tough, that he had wrestled with it and I prayed for peace and rest for him. Meanwhile, I thanked God for pulling me away from MB and for doing a work in my life. He broke me down last year and is building me into the virtuous woman I need to be for my husband. So far, He’s been cleaning out some closets in my life that I haven’t wanted to touch or deal with. He’s shown me the blessing of submission. I’ve often struggled with that word in relation to marriage..but more about that later.

17 – Just because you come from a family of hoarders…doesn’t mean you have to be one. I’ve learned a lot about emotions and their ties to physical objects in our life. I’ve been working my way through the Japanese Art of Tidying up by Marie Kondo and it has changed my life. I realized that some of the underlying stress in my life is caused by all this “stuff” in my house. It’s everywhere….so I’ve been slowly and methodically cleaning out my earthly home until it’s a place of joy for me.

18 – Friends are a precious commodity. Invest in them wisely. I was very blessed to have a new friend walk into my life at the moment I needed her. I can’t imagine how the end of my year would have gone without long conversations with LB. I’m thankful God moved this sweet girl from Chicago to a random town in SC and then crossed our paths one night. She truly has become one of my dearest friends in such a short time. She’s been my rock and my encouragement for the last season, and I’m excited to be her encouragement through this season of her life.

19 – I need me time…lots of me time. I learned the art of resting last year. I spend so many hours of my waking day on the go that I began to pay the price with my body. I was utterly exhausted and depressed. I had a ton going on with my family and began to feel ill quite often. I began resting on my lunch break. You’d be amazed at how much an hour nap in the middle of the day can help. I set a sleep schedule and stuck to it. I set an eating schedule and stuck to it.

20 – Not moving causes stagnation. I learned that I have to get out of town…otherwise I really can’t appreciate how much life I have. I went on several trips. I spent time with my sister. I left my dog in the hands of my best guy …and she survived lol :)

21 – Do things that make you uncomfortable. I learned how to unglue myself from the wall. I am a hard core wall flower. But part of growing means doing things you don’t like to do. I made myself speak to people at the gym. I made myself talk to the cashier at the grocery store (we’re now buddies..her name is Hannah). I learned the names of all of the custodians in my building. I made myself learn how to be an extrovert (but balanced it with me time!).

22 – I love crocheting. I admit it. I’m an old lady at heart. Give me a fire, apple cider, and yarn any day. I made and actually sold crochet items. I shared part of myself with the world and it wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be.

23 – I jumped off of a cliff…and lived to tell the tale. I have longed to start my own business ever since I was in high school. I’ve always let fear stand in the way and I’ve stood on the edge of the cliff begging myself to jump. This past year, I started taking a class through the local arts alliance. I learned all of the skills I needed to start, and I did it. I filled out the paperwork, I wrote the check, and I filed for my LLC. (It took me three weeks to actually work up enough courage to send the paperwork in!)

24 – Hitting one of your goals is an amazing feeling! I hit the halfway point for my graduate degree in December! It’s always amazing to me when I do things that other people tell me I can’t. I won’t pretend it’s been easy…it’s pretty much been a struggle from the first day of class, but when I walk across the stage next spring..it’s going to be worth every second.

25 – My self worth is not determined by a relationship. I can’t tell you how many friends I have that define their worth by a man. It’s completely freeing when you realize that a guy doesn’t determine your value. I enjoy being single. I really do! I want to use this season of my life to the fullest. I want to pour into others while I can…because there’s going to come a day when I might not be able to do that.

26 – Don’t let an ended relationship, end previous friendships. After MB and I broke up, it was slightly awkward separating the friends we mutually had. Most of his went back to being #TeamMatt..a few of mine jumped ship. But I was determined to keep my bestie. She got caught in the middle, and I didn’t want that. So we talked and I expressed how much her friendship meant to me. We established lines..no talking about Matt, no telling Matt about Kat..and we kept a friendship that was longer than MB & I were ever destined to be. It’s not always like that when you break up and have mutual friends. It can get ugly and I didn’t want that.

27 – I am extraordinary. I pray my daughter never doubts her beauty the way I doubt mine. I’m working on loving me…and I hope that one day she’ll see a beautiful, confident, happy woman whom she is proud to call mom.

So 27, it is with mixed emotions that I bid you adieu.

And with a warm heart I say, hello 28! Let’s have a beautiful year!

XoXo!

One Older & Somewhat Wiser Lemon

 

That’s a Wrap! #Bye2015

Well My Lovelies…it’s over. 2015 is gone never to return again…and it’s with a happy heart that I breathe a sigh of relief. 2015 was a rough year for me…

Many of you have followed along from the beginning and continued to follow along as I’ve journeyed through the crazy waters of being a single twenty-something girl. You cried with me, you cheered me on, and you sent me emails and happy mail when you knew I was struggling.

A lot of what I experienced last year was deeply personal and painful. Some of it I felt I couldn’t share and I love you for understanding that…but sometimes the written word contains healing…so let me catch you up!

Graduate school continued to be an ongoing challenge for me :) You guys were the best! Your constant encouragement helped me tackle and conquer that challenge! (With all A’s and B’s last year I might add!)

You were excited when Matt entered the picture in January :) You sent me great date ideas and Pinterest suggestions. And I finally thought…I might have met my Prince Charming.

In April, a few of you noticed that something was going on, and I didn’t feel that I could share the hurt I was experiencing…

Late on April 4th, Matt and I were at the movies. We’d spent the day at his mom and dad’s having fun with his family and saw the love between his parents. It was the kind of love I’ve always craved for my own future marriage. We’d grilled, played volleyball and soccer, and just had the best day being a part of the family. We caught a movie with a few friends on the way home, and I had turned off my phone. When I turned it back on after the movie,  I immediately became concerned. I had multiple voice-mails from my brother which usually means there’s an emergency.

When the only thing a voicemail says is: Call me back now (in his harsh voice)…it’s bad. My parents had gotten into an argument and my brother stepped in. He and my mom left. They didn’t tell me where they were, I had no idea if my mom was okay. The only thing I knew was that they were safe.

In the middle of the parking lot at the movies I collapsed. I remember Matt picking me up and holding me. I cried….so hard I couldn’t breath. Matt loaded me into the truck and took me home. I remember coming into the house and crying for hours. He never left my side. Finally, I was calmed down enough that he wiped my tears, kissed my head and went home.

The next morning my dad came over to “talk”. It didn’t go well. I was thankful Matt walked in on that discussion and ended it.

It was hard…realizing that your unit was now two units…having to plan holidays around parents…my parents had split up after 31 years of marriage. That is something no one prepares you for. I can’t explain the emotional journey I have been on…

There was a lot of pain, anger, hate, judgement, and hard decisions that I had to make. I’ve always been the mediator in our family, but this was one situation where I couldn’t…I felt isolated, I withdrew, I didn’t care about myself, I didn’t enjoy life, and I pushed Matt away as hard as I could.

There was no fixing the brokenness, no stitching the seams back together. There was only pain.

So much pain.

And more pain. My parents filed for a divorce. It’s a word you hate to hear…even more so when you’re told over the phone.

Then there was Matt. I finally thought that I might have stumbled upon the elusive “one”. A guy that held me while I cried. A guy that opened doors. A guy that brought me flowers. A guy that saw the deepest parts of me and loved them. A guy that brought his A game. A guy that promised he wasn’t going to leave.

And then, on a rainy Sunday night in July he left.

And all of those feelings of abandonment came rushing back in.

I picked up the stones that had come crashing down and rebuilt the wall around my heart on stone at a time.

I cried. I cried a lot. More than I think I’ve ever cried in my whole life. Because as much as I hurt, I knew I had hurt him and I’ve never wanted to hurt anyone in my entire life.

No one knew what to say. Nothing seemed to help. So I became a robot. Simply going through the motions of going to work, going to church, not caring about myself or my appearance.

I no longer wanted to go on the trip to Ireland I had planned with Matt. It only made me think of what wasn’t happening in my life. It was supposed to be an amazing trip. He had planned to propose…but it was the thought of that that made me realize something wasn’t quite right. In my heart, I wasn’t 100% sure I should say yes. I knew I was going through a lot and that my parents situation was impacting me. So I asked Matt for a break to process. A week later, he ended our relationship. It was hard. Every place in town had some memory we had made….

Then came more hurt. There are some things a best friend hates to tell you, but I am very thankful I have one who values a relationship built on honesty. She held my hand, she let me dirty cry on her shoulder, she listened, she gave counsel and she loved me enough to tell me when hurtful rumors about me were spread. Things that hurt to hear and were painful to swallow. How could this man who I loved do this to me I wondered?

And in the quiet of the night, I poured out my heart and my tears to the one who always listens…my Heavenly Father. In the stillness of the night, he whispered that what I thought was love might not be His idea of love.

He took me back to the word..and showed me Boaz. Quietly and gently, he held me while I cried and showed me His definition of a godly man. (btw…we started studying Ruth at church shortly after which was amazing!!)

In the middle of all this pain and parents pulling me in two different directions…siblings taking sides…hurtful words flying back and forth…I felt lost again. How had I been so blind? How had I been so stupid?

But I realized that I hadn’t been blind. For the first time in my life, I had done something for me. I made a decision to end a relationship because I knew it wasn’t right. I had finally paid attention to the warning flags of the Holy Spirit instead of trudging along unhappy. Did it hurt? Yes. Was it the best thing for me? Yes. Did I have doubts? Yes.

I was finally choosing to do things that made me happy instead of trying to please everyone else. What excited me even more was that I could hear God speaking again.

I felt a burden begin to lift. I sought counsel from a godly couple whose opinions I value deeply and we prayed over my parents, my life, my hurt. I prayed for wisdom on how to navigate, I prayed that God would break my family down and build it back up, and I prayed that God would love me despite my anger. They taught me how to set healthy boundaries, how to say no, and how to hold firm.

I can’t say that it’s been an easy road. The end of our relationship took a toll on me and on Matt. I’ve watched the sweet wonderful man I loved turn into someone I no longer recognize. His old lifestyle has drawn him back in and I can’t bear to watch how it will end.

I drew some hard boundary lines with my dad. We didn’t speak for several months last year. I felt hurt by my mom, my sister, and my brother. I endured a lot of hurtful words from my family. I spoke out of anger….a lot.

It was hard to be happy and cheerful….when all I wanted to do was scream and yell.

After being on auto-pilot for so long, I finally began to emerge from my depression and angry state. It always amazes me when God orchestrates our lives. I don’t believe in coincidences…I believe that God gives us incidents that reveal Himself to us…we just aren’t always paying attention :)

I’d been praying that God would bring a collective of young believers into my life. I needed Him and fellowship desperately. I’d been on my knees crying out to Him in desperation and asking Him why this was happening to me. In August, this amazing couple at church opened up their home to the young career kiddos and my life forever changed. Finally, I had the fellowship and Bible study I’d been craving.

As we dug into the word week after week, my anger and bitterness began to melt away. It was if God was saying…”Hey…I’m here. It’s okay”. I asked God to break me, to take my anger away, to take my hate and to take the ugly that had crept into my heart. And He did.

For the first time in my life, I felt like I could breathe. I wasn’t living in fear…I was freely living.

God brought a sweet friend into my life in August. While her mom is sad that LB moved from Chicago to SC…I wish I could hug her and tell her how much I need LB in my life right now :) She has been a constant source of encouragement, a listening ear, and such a blessing in my life.

Over the fall, God restored my relationship with my sister piece by piece. My brother moved in with me and we’ve been building our relationship back piece by piece.

My family is still broken, but God has slowly been doing a work. In November, my parents decided to reconcile and work on their marriage. There’s still a lot of anger and a lot of pain that we as a family need to move through, but I continue to pray that God will move us into a healthy family unit.

So my lovelies, it’s with joy that I share this with you. I am excited to start off 2016 :) It’s going to be a year of growth for me, a year of healing, and a year of adventure!

I hope you tag along :)

XoXo!

One Joyful Lemon

 

 

To All My Single Ladies….

Hello My Lovelies!

How are you my darlings? I’m better! I’ve dried my sniffles, thrown out the empty gelato containers and dusted my Cheetos covered booty off.  Whew. Breakups suck! Really…they do. I don’t know how you handle them but for me..it’s Netflix and running, chocolate and tea, and a whole lot of nose blowing.

I’m six weeks back into the land of “single” and not quite to the “singe and ready to mingle” stage. But as I’ve been entering back into my single lady life, I’ve been astonished at some things I’ve heard and seen. We live in a society that beats single girls up. My goodness..it’s like they think there is something wrong with us.

It seems like the older I get the more people begin to think of you differently if you’re not “in a relationship”. Why does our society alienate successful, independent single women? Why do they constantly make us feel inferior to the stay-at-home moms of the world?

Let me tell you a secret my dears….there is NOTHING wrong with you. Absolutely nothing. There is NOTHING wrong with being alone. And why should we settle for guys who lack emotional empathy, who don’t make us a priority, and who don’t have an ambition in life? We shouldn’t! And society can kiss grits. They shouldn’t negate our choice to wait for the guy who has 86 out of 86 qualities on our list. (Yes, I have a list…do you have a list?)

But there is a part of being single that gets me…. it’s single’s little friend loneliness. I’ve come to learn a few things during the last five weeks of life post-MB.

1 – Being “alone” does not equal loneliness.

Loneliness is a choice. It’s a state of mind and has nothing to do with the amount of people around you. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stood in a room, completely surrounded by people and felt entirely lonely. So often, I feel like I’m invisible. If you read my blog post at the beginning of the year you might remember that it was one of my goals this year to stop being invisible. (I’m so good at it though!! They should make me a spy or something…) But I’ve learned that if people around me don’t understand, appreciate, or love me – I might as well be alone. But don’t be hasty! Do not confuse a girl’s marital status with her ability to connect and spend time with people.

2 – There is something special about a girl who can enjoy the company of her self.

As women, we are often identified by our roles.

 

Don’t get me wrong. Being a sister, a daughter, a graphic designer, and a friend are all important roles. But, they should not define ME, because those roles can change at any time in my life. Spending time alone allows you the time to discover whom you are deep down inside, outside of the roles you hold.

This is sooooo important! Because let’s face it. As women, we carry weight. The weight of our families, the weight of our jobs, the weight of our children, we do work ladies!

As a happy healthy single woman, I’m not desperately seeking “a relationship”. Neither and I seeking the company of the first guy who approaches me. As healthy single girls, we understand that this is a valuable time of our life! I may soon not have time like this again. It’s a chapter we should relish and enjoy, instead of loathe.  Because let’s be real…you marry prince charming, you have his baby…and you lose the time you have to discover who you are and your alone time is condensed to those five minutes in the shower while praying the baby doesn’t wake up.  Our time become somewhat non-existent.

There are several reasons I envy married women, and there are several reasons I do not.

Would I love to be married someday? You better believe it! Do I see the joy and benefits of having a happy hubby to come home to at the end of the day? I do. But I also have been thrown head first into the deep end of the other side. I’ve seen the burdens women carry. I’ve seen the pain of a marriage dissolving. I’m willing to welcome the joy and the pain, but right now I’m in no hurry to rush it. Society can just get over their social “norms”.

There’s this misguided notion/misconception that single women do not like couples.

BONK! So false. The healthy happy single woman is not hunting for “your man” and we are not bitter that you have a man (okay the mast majority of us aren’t..there are a few..). It’s the same way that a married woman or a taken woman can be happy for others. Being single DOES NOT equate to being bitter. (Read about Ruth..she rocked being a single widow.)

Why do I love being single?  Solitude allows me the time to discover what my true values are, and see things at a deeper level. It helps me tap into the things that are really important in my life.

My goal as a single woman is to not getting caught up on the small things. I want to use this chapter of my life to the best of my ability. I’m just trying to be around positive people with good vibes :)

Overall, the truth of the matter is this: Single women are single because they want to be. Some may want the companionship of a man, but we are not settling. It does not mean we have unrealistic standards. It just means our time has not come yet. Does society ever judge the single “dudes”? Nope. They commend them for making it to 30 and not “settling” down. Humph…

So my lovelies! Don’t let society push you into believing the stereotypes and the misconceptions of being a single woman.

Instead, take this time, this chapter to get to know the people around you for who they are. Surround yourself with joyful people, and you my dear will be a joy to be around :)

 

So you’re trucking along in this single chapter, here’s a note of love. DO NOT…I repeat….DO NOT feel pressured to explain your relationship status to anyone. Honestly, it’s none of their business. Just enjoy this chapter. Enjoy time. There will come a time in your life when you won’t be able to dash out and grab coffee with your girls. If you decided you want to change your relationship status do so, but do it at your own pace. At the end of the day we have to be happy with our lives. So my lovelies, DO NOT feel guilty, pressured or ashamed. You are BEAUTIFUL!

Love,

One Happy Single Lemon