Becoming a Titus woman..

IMG_1205I LOOOOOVE first Tuesday :) Because first Tuesday means that at 7pm beautiful ladies converge upon Rebecca’s house for Bible study. There is something about snuggling into the couch with 10 other girls…women age and getting into the word. I know I don’t talk a lot about my faith on my blog, and forgive me, because I feel that I’m doing you an injustice by not talking about it. It’s a crucial part of my being, who I am, who I want to be.

The past few months we’ve been studying the book of Titus, specifically chapter 2. I never knew that so much wonderful info could be hiding in those three little chapters Paul wrote to Titus while he was at Crete.

We’ve been talking about the roles of the older and younger women in the church. I’ve always wondered why the older women aren’t more involved with the younger. I love them! They are a wealth of information and wisdom. My heart longs to sit under their teaching, but never do they seem interested in teaching a younger woman. I’ve resolved that even though I am young, I am still “older” than the youth and it’s my responsibility to pour myself into them. Being in a season of singleness is wonderful! I have so many opportunities to do things I won’t be able to do when I move into the role of wife and keeper of my home. But more on that later!

Last night we were a little on the small side, but that just makes it more intimate in my opinion. It’s beautiful to see the barriers and walls come down as we share our hearts with each and crisscrossed in the living room. We dug right back in where we had left off last night.

What is the role of “older” women in the church? We are to be teachers of good things. Good things..what does that mean? Things that are virtuous, moral, admirable. We are to be sober-minded, we are to love our husbands and we are to love our children. With the exception of Rebecca, we are all single. You might say, well as a single girl, how does this apply to me?  A LOT! We are to be sober-minded, because let’s face can’t make proper judgements or decisions when you aren’t sober-minded.

Be Discreet ~ As we continued on through Titus chapter 2, we talked about being discreet. To be a woman of discretion, one must demonstrate good judgement. As a single woman, I need to demonstrate good judgement in my speech, my actions, my desires and my impulses. This one hit close to home for me. I’ve been battling lately against the desires of my heart and the desires of my flesh. I long to be married, I long to be held and loved by my husband. We talked about our relationships with the opposite sex, and I thought to myself..if my husband reviewed my actions of the last 3 months would he be pleased with my actions or disappointed? I’m sad to say I think he would be hurt. I am to be refined, tactful, modest, have foresight and not be unrefined, brash, boisterous, immodest, tactless, lacking foresight, reckless and self-indulgent.

Be Chaste ~ As we broached this topic, I expected to see some discomfort in the room. I love that these girls don’t try to justify sexual purity. I love that Grant and Rebecca & Ryan and Jen draw a hard-line on this one. Ryan has continually challenged us in Sunday School..both the career and college class to set our generation apart. The world screams at us constantly. Think about it..when is the last time you watched something on TV that didn’t involve sexual intercourse? He had us list our “favorite” TV shows and then we examined them. The top five: How I Met Your Mother, Grey’s Anatomy, The Office, Southern Charm and Game of Thrones. I began to many episodes of Grey’s Anatomy have I poured into my brain? If you want me to be completely honest, I haven’t missed an episode since the season 1 premier. Knowing this, I can tell you that there is nothing wholesome or godly about that show. It is loaded with casual sex, lewd behavior and marital infidelity. Game of Thrones? The first 3 episodes contain blatant sexual scenes. I was really convicted last night about my chastity. A chaste woman places a high priority on holy living because her heart longs to bring honor to God. I wept last night on the way home because I knew that this was something I greatly need to work on. I am to be pure, unpolluted and virtuous. I cannot be unpolluted if I’m pouring hours of ungodly tv shows into my brain or reading “romance” novels with impurity in them. I prayed for my husband. As much as I know that the world is bombarding me with sexual temptation..I know that for a man visual imagery is a road that is slippery. I thought about the billboards I’ve seen around town, about the magazine covers in the checkout line and about the TV shows that are popular..all of them contain immodestly dressed women. How I hope he has such godly men as Grant and Ryan in his life molding him into a warrior and husband to be for me.

Be Keepers at Home :) This has been a revelation for me. Our society today seems to be solely focused on the “career” woman. But the more I read and study, the more I am discerning that being a “career” woman isn’t what God had in mind. Being a keeper of a home isn’t meant to strip me of my dreams or aspirations, make me a maid or’s God’s design for the home to run smoothly and efficiently. (This is not to say that a man can’t run a home efficiently because I know they can!) Men can do it..but it’s something women do immensely better. Think about it..God made guys to think about one thing at a time. They weren’t created to multitask. WE THRIVE on it :) As a single girl how does this apply to me? I don’t have a husband or a child..oh but it applies so much! You have to begin with the end in mind! I may be single now, but I plan to have a husband and if God wills children someday. As a single woman, I can do things to ensure that my husband and I have a smooth start. I can learn to clean a house quickly, prepare meals and live on a budget. Because otherwise, you will struggle. My cousin recently got married and his wife cannot cook at all. She has no concept of living on a budget as she spends her money as quickly as she made it. They have struggled greatly this first month of being married. I do not long for that. In preparing for marriage, I should be wise with my finances not accruing a lot of debt. I shouldn’t pursue a degree that will require long hours and ladder climbing. Because debt takes time to pay off, working long hours damages your marriage and ladder climbing means choosing whether you are going to be submissive to your husband or your boss.

We’ve been talking a lot about being “submissive” to your husband. This has always been a hard concept for my mind I equate it with weakness. But it’s not being weak at all. It’s being so strong. Rebecca has been an amazing model of this in my life. Being submissive doesn’t mean that I don’t get a say or an opinion. It simply means that although my husband and I discuss things..ultimately the decision is his to make and I respect the choice he makes. Will I always agree? Probably not..but how can I learn this if I’m not married? God gave me two amazing “keepers” until my husband parents. I can practice my submissiveness to my parents. I can tell you that at 26 it is becoming more and more difficult. We also talked about being submissive to your boss at work. I realized that I need to be more submissive. While I may know that an idea may not work or look like it should, I need to be respectful of my boss and the decisions he makes.

Being a keeper of a home is one of the greatest jobs a woman can ever have. It’s hard work, but so fulfilling. It requires the ability to multitask, manage, submit, get dirty..and the list goes on :) It’s a job that requires you to completely give of yourself if you want to do a good job. All of these things are necessary to maintain the order and tranquility of your home in order for it to truly be a “home”.

As I prepare to have my own home in a few weeks..I pondered on the meaning of “home”. Home is a place where I can come to rest, rejuvenate, acquire necessary skills and resources to be effective in the world. The same should be true for my family. Our home should be a place of refuge for my husband..a place he can come after working all day and be received with love and respect. As the “keeper” of my home, it is my job to guard it. When my children come, it will be my job to make sure they are supervised. I am to keep watch over them until the time arrives for them to marry. When children are supervised, they are more productive and protected :) Until then, I desire to keep my home pure and holy. It is my home and I must guard what comes in. I want to be a woman of good repute in my neighborhood.

Whew..this sounds like a lot of work. It is! But don’t worry my dears :) It’s the best work we’ll ever do. We talked about seasons in life. I’m moving into a new season in my life. Each season contains different responsibilities and opportunities. We shared how as single women, we are able to minister to the married women with children. One thing Rebecca shared that really touched me was this..Don’t rush through the season! How many times am I guilty of wishing this “season” in my life would pass? I resolved to enjoy my life. So I’m single..big whoop :) I’m a soccer coaching, swimming teaching, preschool loving, amazing girl who gets to pour and pour into these young little minds who will one day (hopefully!) be sitting in my living room being poured into as Rebecca pours into me.

By manifesting these qualities, we will earn the respect of outsiders and bring glory and honor to God.

This is the moment I hate…the moment I know our time together has come to an end..these girls are becoming my dear friends. It’s been really hard to find friends who share my beliefs. Girls who are modest in their appearance and not using their bodies to lure men into their beds. It’s refreshing..I can’t tell you how refreshing.

To my husband, darling, I’m praying for you. You’ve been on my heart a lot lately. I have a feeling you’re near..but God’s telling me you’re not quite ready for me yet. Know that I love you so much. I can’t wait to pour this love I’ve been saving up into you. I’ve been praying for our home and life together. It’s going to be a beautiful day my love when I vow to love you for the rest of my life.

Until then, be strong.


One Ever Changing Lemon

Published by Kat Barnette

Welcome to my blog! The place where my brain settles into it's comfy couch to unload some of it's creativity :)

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