How do I know?

How do I know when it’s time for a change?
Time to let this part of my life fade away.
To close the chapter and start anew..

Dream different dreams, follow a new moon?
Tell me please…
How do I know?
Whether to fight or give up on the show?
To stand..and take hold of the hand..
To run..away from the sun..

I want to hide,
Shrink deeply inside.
I can’t find the light,
I’m desperate and scared.
This terror I feel..it’s too scary and real.

I’m out of control and I don’t know how to get it back,
I vomit, I hurl, My body curls.
I cower, and hide
my face hidden by night.

Tears run down my face,
making my refuge a damp place,
My body racks and tenses,
It’s pain overwhelming my senses.

It’s brutal this fear.
Tis taking over my life
How to kill it I desire to know..
before it consumes me so.